| Dann Sytsma is a
man of many secrets, most of which would give you nightmares
if we revealed them here. This much we can share: Mr.
Sytsma is a born motorhead who won the 24-hour-long Le
Mans auto race in 1988 at the age of 12. A promising career
as a demon of the track was cut tragically short, however,
when Dann developed a severe allergic reaction to leather.
A has-been before he'd even graduated junior high, Dann
knew he had to find something else to do with his life.
So, seizing upon the true-life experiences of his adolescence
in Cascade, MI, he invented "gangsta rap" and
told the world about the seedy underbelly of suburban
Grand Rapids, where armed robbery and drug dealing are
as common as Alticore (a.k.a. Amway) salespeople. Many
think the now-classic film "Cool as Ice" was
based on the experiences of its star, Vanilla Ice, but
Dann -- to this very day -- insists every word of the
script was ripped off from his own autobiography, "Sassy
as Sytsma." Those sucker MCs won't give our man no
peace, no how. |
