| To look at James
Sanford, you might never guess that he's really 84 years
old. But just ask him about growing up during the Depression
and organizing those big scrap metal drives during World
War II: You'll get yourself an earful. What's the secret
of his (sort of) youthful appearance? Frequent baths in
goat milk, a few good gravel scrubs every month, a diet
high in fiber and, oh yes, annual pilgrimages to Botswana
to dance in the Flame of Eternal Life. "Not only
does it restore my beauty and vitality," James insists,
"it also cleans my conscience, so I never spend a
sleepless night thinking about all the people I've wronged
in the last eight decades." Although self-maintenance
takes up much of his time, James can also be found teaching
high-impact step aerobics classes at Buns-R-Us in Vicksburg,
brewing his own brand of water chestnut-flavored vodka
and running numbers for the mob. |
